The award ceremony is over...here's the update.....

We had our WTF appointment on the 11th.

My doctor was great about really listening and answering our questions. He thinks that I may have over suppressed during our last cycle. I ended up with just two follicles. It was very disappointing but he is very hopeful that my next cycle will be more productive. So we started our second IVF cycle on Tuesday and I am feeling soooo hopeful. The doctor had completely changed all of my meds to hopefully increase my follicle development.

Is it strange that the injections don't scare me??? None of this seems to bother me....It's so clinical!!! I have a drug schedule and I just follow it. The only time I have any issues is when it doesn't work. The last cycle was devastating!!! We did everything we were supposed to do and I got two follicles. I can handle it if I go through everything and we get loads of follicles...They all fertilize but then I don't get pregnant. What has been worse so far for me is when you do everything you are supposed to do and then my body doesn't respond. What was it all for????

My husband has been wonderful...He had a really hard time after the last cycle. There was no blame as to why it didn't work but I think he got his hopes up just as much as I did. To be let down like that was torture. So having the break in between cycles has been great for us. Now that we have had a chance to regroup I think we are ready for what ever this cycle holds for us.

I'm getting lots of massage...I'm looking into Acupuncture and I'm hoping to include that into this cycle. I'm trying to take very good care of myself. Hopefully it will work this time!!!!

I'm a bad bad blogger!!! Sorry!

I'm sorry I have been incommunicado as of late. I know I should be more diligent with my updating. I got the message worms...hahaha my fellow Inconceivable.

So first http://itisinconceivable.blogspot.com/ Has given be an I love your blog award. I suggest you read hers as she is a huge source of inspiration and strainght for me. Thanks Worms!!! Considering how bad I have been updating...I don't deserve it!!!

So I would like to thank the academy for this honor....Oh...Never Mind!!! hehehe...

So as part of this prize, I have to answer a meme with one word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? Kitchen
2. Where is your significant other? couch
3. Your hair color? Brunette

4. Your mother? quiet
5. Your father? peaceful
6. Your favorite thing? Husband

7. Your dream last night? none
8. Your dream/goal? mom
9. The room you're in? office
10. Your hobby? Running
11. Your fear? childless
12. Where do you want to be in six years? SHM
13. Where were you last night? dinner
14. What you're not? petty

15. One of your wish list items? lotto
16. Where you grew up? Massachusetts
17. The last thing you did? dinner
18. What are you wearing? jammies
19. Your T.V.? NEXT

20. Your pet? Sleeping
21. Your computer? slow
22. Your mood? sad

23. Missing someone? Ginny
24. Your car? Graphite
25. Something you're not wearing? shoes
26. Favorite store? Ann Taylor

27. Your Summer? Friends

28. Love someone? lucky

29. Your favorite color? Blue

30. When is the last time you laughed? earlier
31. Last time you cried? earlier

Now I get to give this award to 7 other bloggers so here are 7 other blogs that I love
1. http://itisinconceivable.blogspot.com/ I know she gave me the award...But anyone who names her blog from quote from The Princess Bride has become my favorite blogger.

2. http://bustedbabymaker.blogspot.com/ Probably one of the strongest women I have met online...She is a true inspiration. This is the moment she has been waiting for...I'm praying for you!!!

3. http://youraverageinfertilityblog.blogspot.com/ Gretchen...A women I met on The Nest and have been rooting for her since I have started this journey. I'm thrilled to see you are doing so well!!!
4. http://babyforballerina.blogspot.com/ I'm thrilled to say just got the BFP she was hoping for CONGRATS!!! I'm praying for you!!!

5. http://ourstorkgotlost.wordpress.com/ I love when people find their stork!!! She is another success story that I hold on to for hope. Very entertaining too!!! Thank you for your blog!!!
6. http://www.becoming-mom.net/ Another success story that I have loved following. The baby Jasper is an Angel!!! Congrats.

7. http://frenchfamilyjourney.blogspot.com/ Another nestie I have been following. Thank you for all the advice you have given me and all the other women on the nest...You are very wise. :)

So, if you have received this prestigious award please cut and paste the meme and choose your 7 fav blogs.

With friends like these.....

Well it finally happened! I'm having a hard time talking to my friends with children. Up until now It really hasn't bothered me discussing my friend's children. They are all wonderful...And that hasn't changed. And who knows I may just be becoming more sensitive about it. But I just feel like I'm the fifth wheel when these discussions come up.


We were over a friends house on Saturday evening with another couple. These are people I have been friends with since high school and I love them very much. But I really felt left out. Both couples have children...One has two wonderful boys the other an adorable son. While they were discussing the joys of parenthood I found myself bringing up my sisters kids or the subject I said I would never replace children with. MY CATS!!! We have two wonderful cats..Barnes & Noble. We love them very much but it is depressing that I'm actually pulling out kitty stories when they discuss their kids. Their is no comparison. And considering the only other subject I have in my life right now is our IVF cycles (which seems to silence the room and ends any flow of conversation especially with this group)I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't bother.

I refuse to lose friends over this!!! Infertility is really temporary...It's effects last forever but when I'm 60 it really won't be an issue. If we can't get pregnant on our own we will be adopting and these are the people I look forward to being part of our children's lives. But right now...It's very depressing.