Yesterday was my 36th birthday. Yes...This means I'm the closer to forty than I have ever been and I'm on the down slope of my 30's. It feels strange.
It made me think back to my 30th birthday. I remember my 30th birthday very well!!! It was technically the day of my first date with my husband (I say technically because we had been friends for so long that I didn't know it was actually a date. I had no clue he was even interested. He he still gives me a hard time about that. Even yesterday when he took me out for dinner...hehehaha)
Well the rest is history with Mark and I but something interesting dawned on me when I woke up that morning many hours before our fateful date over a few Margaritas. I woke up with the realization that I could quite possibly be married & pregnant with in the next 5 years!!! I had no clue who the father would be (Mark and I didn't admit until days later that we were actually interested in each other so I wasn't betting on him at the time.) but I realized that next 5 years would be monumental in my life. And I could not have been more right. Mark and I were married in 2005 and my life with him has been wonderful. Except for one huge detail. My prediction of a baby in 5 years was not meant to be. Even months before my 36th birthday I was holding out hope that I would at least be pregnant by the time I was 36. But due to my body not cooperating (Laparoscopy in June) and the start of my first IVF cycle starting in mid August I knew my prediction would not come to pass.
Am I sad? Some what. But I'm actually pretty good. I had given up the idea of being a young mother years ago. But starting out (hopefully) as a mother at 36 when my mother finished having her 5th child at 34 is somewhat a punch in the stomach. Who knew this would be the way things turned out?
I'm hoping that this first IVF cycle will be my last and I won't be posting something similar on my 37th birthday. Good God!!!
7 years ago
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